In fact, the thought of going on the date is giving you nightmares. You have already ruined the week stressing over the date and are now finding absurd ways to get out of it like blocking her ! You are not crazy. Nor are you commitment phobic. Then what on earth is scaring you from going on this date?
Or any date for that matter? The answer is: Sarmassophobia. Sarmassophobia is the fear of dates and relationships that stem from a fear of love play. A man suffering from sarmassophobia is scared of situations, objects, activities, or people that involve kissing, dating, flirting, sex, and so on.
I learnt about sarmassophobia after I canceled four dates in a row with this girl.
I was still active on dating apps and spent weekends in pubs hoping to meet a new person. However, when this became a persistent behavior I knew something was wrong.
I met a therapist and after a detailed session, she told me that I was suffering from sarmassophobia. If you think you are being a jerk, there are possibilities that you are wrong and that you are actually suffering from sarmassophobia:. Everyone feels nervous before dates and it is pretty normal to feel that way.
You may find it hard to eat and sleep because you are always worrying about how your date is going to be. You may also start feeling physically sick ahead of D-day.
You are constantly nitpicking your date in your mind so that you have enough reasons to dislike them and cancel the date altogether. Remember how you once swiped left on Tinder because she looked too friendly! Your friends may laugh off your habit and call you choosy, but the truth is you reject people because you are afraid to know them in real life.
At other times, you make a quick escape without caring to inform her you are leaving. You decide to leave because you simply cannot handle the pressure!
Has a woman ever called you a tease? You are guilty of ghosting people because you are scared of kissing, cuddling, flirting, and caressing.
When she decides to call it quits, you feel relaxed subconsciously. When it is finally over, you feel relieved rather than sad.
A few sources suggest that sarmassophobia also has physical s like excessive sweating, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, nausea, dry mouth, and headaches. You may experience these symptoms when you go on a date and your date tries to get close to you. Like most phobias, sarmassophobia also develops due to unresolved emotional conflicts in the past. Restricting yourself from getting into a romantic relationship is an overprotective mechanism that you build to avoid further conflicts.
Sarmassophobia is not gender-specific. Women can also be afraid of love play. According to her, sarmassophobia is different from the fear of commitment. Charlotte said she is married for one year but romantic intimacy is what makes her uncomfortable. If you find yourself showing any or all of the above-mentioned s, it is possible that you may have gone through one of the following situations in life:. Psychologists say that a violent or abusive relationship between parents can cause the fear of intimacy in children when they grow up. Men who have lived with distant and guarded parents in childhood often fear that their partners will neglect them too.
Victims of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse may also find it difficult to build intimate relationships with someone. Chances are that a man suffering from the fear of love play may have been told as that intimacy is taboo and sex is bad. Over time, this belief turned into a fear that prohibits him from building healthy romantic relationships.
Sarmassophobia is also more likely to be found in people who had painful romantic relationships in the past and are scared of getting hurt or heartbroken again. Sarmassophobia is real. It is not a fancy term coined for narcissists who have commitment issues. It must be treated before it takes a toll on your relationships.
It is important to first get to the root cause of the fear. When you understand what is causing the distress, only then can you work towards overcoming it. A psycho-sexual therapist and relationship counselor can help you overcome sarmassophobia through therapies and counseling sessions. It may take time and a lot of patience, but strong willpower and determination can help you overcome this predicament.
Sarmassophobia is not a serious illness.
However, it can affect the quality of your life and personal relationships if not identified and overcome in time. The good news is that it can be cured. Fear of dating phobia a therapist or a doctor who can help you get through this ordeal. It will be worth it when you finally find someone who you are not afraid to love.
What are the symptoms?
Swara Segal is a freelance writer and blogger who loves to play with words. Her strength and weakness are all about weaving the informative contents for diverse niches including dating, relationship, gifts, fashion, lifestyle, etc. Currently, she is working on a project for GetNameNecklace - a brand that deals in precious jewelry which makes a couple happy. Sex Dating Growth Health Other. s of Sarmassophobia I learnt about sarmassophobia after I canceled four dates in a row with this girl. If you think you are being a jerk, there are possibilities that you are wrong and that you are actually suffering from sarmassophobia: You Feel Anxious before Dates Everyone fear of dating phobia nervous before dates and it is pretty normal to feel that way.
Your Friends Think You Are Extremely Fussy about Picking Dates You are constantly nitpicking your date in your mind so that you have enough reasons to dislike them and cancel the date altogether. If you find yourself showing any or all of the above-mentioned s, it is possible that you may have gone through one of fear of dating phobia following situations in life: Psychologists say that a violent or abusive relationship between parents can cause the fear of intimacy in children when they grow up.
How to Overcome Sarmassophobia Sarmassophobia is real.