A shirtless Joe Giudice pumping iron. Caroline Manzo being questioned about her libido. Preschooler Milania Giudice using the words "stupid whore. Give me a few moments to initiate a full "Silkwood.
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Here's where we left off in the third season finale : Everyone hates Teresa "My book's on the bestseller" Giudice, but for different reasons and with less fervor than they would in the season three reunion show. At this point -- the start of summerbefore the reunion show was taped -- Caroline has taken offense at Teresa's "jokes" about her family in her latest cookbook, housewives wants real sex manville newjersey 8835 things had not yet gotten to the "whirlwind of stupid" level that Caroline would reference at the reunion. And what's a season premiere without unfounded rumors?
Joe Gorga tells Melissa that Teresa told him that Melissa would leave him if a richer guy came along. Sometimes I feel like I'm reporting on the world's stupidest game of "Telephone. And what better time and place for Teresa to bring up those rumors if obliquely than in the car on the way to the shore with her four children in tow.
When Teresa asks Joe who he was with on that business trip, he reels off the names of a bunch of women. Gia butts in, wondering why there were so many girls. Joe: "It is what it is. Joe Gorga also references another tabloid story -- maybe the same one, it's hard to keep track -- in which Teresa talks about the possibility of her husband going to prison for 10 years because of his DMV scamand how she has no one, not even her brother, to support her.
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How does Teresa explain such tabloid spre to her kids, by the way? A friend is letting Kathy and Rich stay at their beach house. Melissa and Joe might have to stay there too, because when the Gorgas arrive at their own shore house, it turns out Joe has not quite finished renovations. The house appears uninhabitable, and the pool unswimmable. They head over to Kathy's, where she's prepared yet another feast. Kathy's mother and her awesome sister Rosie are there, as well as assorted Wakile and Gorga relatives, most of whom are probably named Joe.
When someone pumps Melissa for her reaction about what Teresa wrote in her cookbook about her -- namely, that Teresa loveslovesloves her sister-in-law even though Melissa copies everything she does -- Melissa says she doesn't want to talk about it.
She doesn't want Joe to find about what his sister wrote. Joe can't read? Enter Rich, who by this point must list "pot-stirrer" as his primary occupation. He happily leaks the details. Joe says Teresa is just lashing out because she's "unhappy with her husband. At the beach, Joe Gorga confronts Teresa about the tabloid housewives wants real sex manville newjersey 8835, saying that of course he would support her, emotionally and financially, if Joe went to the pokey.
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Why would she think he wouldn't? Because when Joe Giudice was in the slammer for 10 days for driving with a suspended the year, she didn't get any phone calls from her brother.
Joe Gorga claims that's because Teresa had shut down any attempt to talk about her bankruptcy issues. Why did Teresa tell him that Melissa would live him for a richer man, Joe counters. Bottom line, he says, if Joe Giudice goes to jail, he'll be there for Teresa and her family.
Meanwhile, Jacqueline Laurita's daughter Ashlee Holmes is now blonde and can't figure out how to use the vacuum cleaner.
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It must be said that Ashlee probably didn't know how to use the vacuum cleaner when she was brunette, either. Ashlee is still living at home, and still driving Jacqueline and Chris crazy. For example: She goes out partying in the city and can't drive home because she's too drunk, so they have to pick her up. Jacqueline has hired a life coach to help figure her problem out, which is funny, because all she has to do is read any comments section of any random "Real Housewives" recap and she'll get plenty of very good advice for free.
It all boils down to this: Kick Ashlee out. And they do. Or try to. We'll see.
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While Jacqueline is in the next room with the baby, Chris tells Ashlee that Jacqueline's brother and his wife have offered to take her in. Like, pronto. She has to leave tomorrow.
Oh, and they live in Las Vegas. There's no better place to get one's head straight than Las Vegas, right? Ashlee protests: She's got plans with her friends!
This is the last and final conversation. Earlier in the episode, Caroline and her kids head over to Jacqueline's, where Teresa is also expected. Amid many Olive Garden jokes, Caroline tells Jacqueline that she's not in the mood to hear Teresa's excuses. When Teresa shows up, she tries to clear the air with Caroline. Caroline clearly still harbors a grudge. And even earlier in the episode, Caroline visits the offices of Dov Rand, a doctor who specializes in bioidentical hormone therapy.
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According to his website, Rand provides "cutting edge medical therapies with a functional regenerative and integrative approach. Attorney Paul Fishman, Rand also received monthly bribes in connection with referring patients to a radiology and diagnostic facility in Orange.
Before his arrest in Decemberhe reportedly boasted that his upcoming appearance on "Real Housewives of New Jersey" would lead to more clientele, and thus more referrals. After listening to Caroline's litany of complaints and asking her questions, including about her libido -- "I'm good" -- he tells her she's getting old.
And: "I think you should consider some new friends. Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.
S10 e1 | 11/06/19
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